He calls it The 8 Percent Look.

To be a server is to be a master mind of human body language. If you want any chance of making money in this crapshoot business, you have to be able to read people. For example, are they looking for you, or are you bugging them so much they are looking to make sure your aren’t coming over again (so they can really steal the salt and pepper shaker). Do they want a refill? Do they seem to like the food? Or, are they trying to be polite by not saying anything? Is the music bothering them? Do they seem too cold or too hot? Do they want a refill or are they going to explode with another glass of soda?

I find that most people do, in fact, expect you to read there minds. This can be annoying seeing as that I am not a mind reader but a mere college junior. But, I would like to think I am getting better at reading the cues people consciously or unconsciously give me.

My friend Kenny and I were talking about this the other day. He was working in the bar area Friday night. The bar is interesting because you get a real mix of people. And, more often times then in the dining room, servers get the I’m-drunk-so-here-is-my-money tip.

Another important part about reading people, as Kenny made me see, is reading whether or not they plan on tipping you appropriately. Now, if you are a server and you’re busy with a lot of tables on a Friday night, you have to weigh your tables and look at which ones are worth investing in and taking good care of, and which ones are worth your basic solid service. I don’t want to spend a lot of time on tables that I know don’t tip well. For example, more often times than not, younger teenagers do not tip well. I’m not going to chat with them and make sure they are happy 100 percent of the time because I know that, for me, it hasn’t proven worth it in the past. I don’t want to spend a lot of time on rude people, for obvious reasons. And, I don’t want to spend a lot of time on people who give what Kenny refers to as The 8 Percent Look.

What exactly is The 8 Percent Look? I’m glad you asked because I found myself wondering the same thing. The 8 Percent Look is the pursed lips, slanted eyebrows, and tense eyed look of people who are very unhappy. Oh no! I forgot their 197 refill of diet soda! Oh no! Their well done burger took over twenty minutes to cook!

I use these silly examples because I think there are only certain rare situations when 8 percent is all you should leave a server. I had one the other night. I went out with friends. A few of us were servers so we were very polite to her. This girl was ridiculous. She never checked on us, took 10 minutes or so to give us the check after we asked her for it, and had the nerve to ask me “Are you sure?” when I told her she gave us a check from another table that was of a lesser amount. No, you dumb ho, I want to pay 20 dollars more for my meal which is why I am asking you for another check. Give me a break!

Anyway, these are the people you give 8 percent to. I’ll have you know I gave her 15 percent, which is to me like giving 8 percent. And, these were exceptional and appropriate circumstances for bad tipping.

Most people, however, have little reason to tip poorly. I think a lot of it has to do with some people just being cheap. Now, this is most certainly not all people. I think a lot of my customers are fine tippers. But, I try to give solid service to everyone so I know there are other factors coming into play. Sometimes I deserve bad tips. When I don’t, however, I want to figure out why. So, like I said, some people are cheap. They are the oops-I-didn’t-mean-to-spend-so-much tables. Some people were raised poorly. Some people don’t understand what serving is like. Some people don’t understand that I can’t cook their food and wait on all the tables I have to. I can’t be blamed when their food takes too long, is cooked wrong, or has foreign objects in it.

Long story short, reading people is important. It is how we make our money. Bad tippers deserve bad service. Bad tipping is a bad habit and, like I always seem to say, rarely necessary. So read some literature I have for you about tipping, and happy dining!